two and a half years later.....

i can't believe it has been two and a half years since i wrote on here. wow, look at where i was then, and where i am now. i was so inspired by my environment there - all the beautiful people, the culture, the Himalayan landscapes. i miss having so much going on around me. so much to keep me thinking and reflecting on this life and God and humanity. it used to overwhelm me at the time, but now i miss it. now that i am back in the US, living in michigan, and staying at home all day with my son, i forget to think about stuff and reflect on the deeper things of life. of course my son brings out a whole new kind of inspiration, but i find myself tied up with so many spills to clean up, diapers to wash, and mouths to spoon-feed, and the busy-ness consumes me.

i love where God has lead us and for the gifts that he has given me, but i miss living in constant awe of God, his creations and other people. here in lansing, i am surrounded by the gray of a cement city and rainy skies. the people stay behind their locked front doors, only to emerge to the porch on an unusually rainless day. i went from a place where we'd be surprised if there was a moment that no one was coming through our door, to here, where we are surprised (and almost startled) when there is a knock at our door. i used to sit and listen to the street sounds outside my window at night: the hindi beat of music, the sing-song sounds of foreign languages, barking packs of dogs, rickshaw bells and taxi horns, street vendors or processional parades of a wedding or a funeral. it was "noise" but it was the sound of life happening. now i hear nothing from my windows. even when i step ouside i hear the silence of people living privately. only an occasional siren in the distance. my ears are filled with the repetitive tunes of baby einstein and the repremanding voice of judge mathis on tv.

going from my senses being constantly overtaxed to the gross under-use of my senses has really done a number on me. my challenge before was to find those small moments of quiet and privacy to reflect and refuel. my challenge now is to break out of my fortress of constant quiet and privacy and throw myself back into life out there.

writing on this blog is my first step.